To the man holding a sign, standing on the road divider, in the middle of the road, asking for money…

If you know me, you know that I am kind hearted. I don’t think that I could exist without  helping people. I give in so many ways. I could write a list two miles long. Well, today I saw a man standing on the road divider while I was driving through the stop light. Standing with his cardboard sign asking for money. Well, today I had an overwhelming desire to yell, “get a fucking job!” There, I’m not perfect. I’m not a saint. I’m just me. Having a negative thought crossing my mind. Maybe it sounds mean, but geeze, people stand everywhere asking for money these days. It IS their job. It’s crazy. Gone are the days when you can tell if someone really needs help, or not. It sucks. It sucks for us caring and loving types that always want to help. It also takes away from those that may truly need it. It irritates me. Obviously. :)


Food Freak-Out

This commercial freaks me out every time I see it. Scares me really.

When I was at the grocery store today getting some tortilla chips and cereal for my Boys, along with a few other items, I look around freaked out. I bought the  few things I needed, then I only bought Bananas, Grapes and Cuties in the produce area. I didn’t even see a reason to get anything else. I told myself that I would just hit the fruit stand today later on.

What it all comes down to, is that things have really changed since I was a kid. Yeah, the soda and snacks are still around, but the ingredients have changed. It scares me. I also scares me how much more of it all there is. I don’t want to give my children something that I would regret for their health later. Yes, I said regret. I say that, because I don’t believe in regrets for myself, but for my children it would kill me if I wasn’t feeding them healthy enough today and it affected their health later.

It is up to me to teach them right from wrong. Healthy, and non healthy. I most comfortable with beef, chicken and seafood. Along with fresh vegetables and fruit. Rice on occasion. Pasta on occasion too. It’s hard to care for others.

Don’t get me wrong, I still bake with sugar, butter and flower.  I would way rather bake for my children than to buy them junk from the store.  It’s not every day though.  I’m hoping that I can teach them some balance.

I saw this video again today after Super Bowl, because I was in my Weight Watchers account. Logging my 3.7 ounces chicken breast that I just ate for lunch. I clicked on the link and it just struck me.  Hard.  Sometimes I feel like what they eat is so out of my hands, it freaks me out.  Sigh, I just worry about their healthy future.

Just thought I would share my thoughts. :)


Missing My Family

I woke up this morning during a dream. With a wash of sadness over me.

My Husband, 4 Boys and I, drove to pick up my Great Aunt Lolly. I was impressed that Andrew knew where she lived. We pulled in front of the small house and I got out. I went inside and was greeted. I can remember by whom. Great Aunt Lolly wasn’t there as of yet and we were to wait.

As I went further into the house other relatives were there. My Great Aunt Hazel sitting at a small table with three others. Again, I can’t remember who now. Frustrating that happens with dreams. Great Aunt Hazel was telling me how much I looked like someone. I was peering into her face thanking her. It had been so long since I had seen her and I was so happy.

As we were all chatting more people started showing up in the family. By the fives and tens. The house was still decorated for the holidays. I assumed they were coming to help clean up. They were grabbing white garbage bags as they came in.

At one point I was sitting outside watching a huge truck load of relatives show up. Young and old. All dressed beautiful for the day. There was music playing. Everyone was dancing in the room to the left past the Christmas tree. Smiling, having an absolutely wonderful time. Other rooms were filled with people sitting and talking. All enjoying each other with more smiles from ear to ear. There must have been over a hundred people there at this point.

As I sat watching all of this unfold in front of me, I started getting very sad and extremely envious. Wishing I had been invited to this amazing event. Not feeling so left out and alone.

I guess what this comes down too is I miss my Mother. I was showing a friend an old photo of her last night.

I also miss the gatherings my Great Grand Parents and also my Grand Parents would have at their homes. Most of the older relatives in my dream are all passed on.

I still crave being with my family. In reality, unless I set something up, I don’t see anyone. It breaks my heart. I think about it all of the time.

I miss that sense of family and the connection. Even though, my Father has lived with me for 15 years, I don’t understand why we don’t have it any more and I miss it so much. That family connection. All I can do is to keep reaching out. Keep setting things up and plan larger events. My goal this year is to plan my first of many, huge family reunions. I’ll make it happen. I know I can.

Hug someone you love today. Call someone you miss and tell them you love them. :)


What I did for Me yesterday…

Each day I am going to try and do a little something for myself.

Yesterday I rode bikes with my Sweetie to enjoy a nice lunch at a new place, and a beer tasting.

The exercise was great and the company even better.

I did feel like I was going to die at some points. We live in an area where there are a lot of hills by the beach. We did almost 18 miles round trip. I felt great once we got home and relaxed a little.


Last night I headed to my bed early to get some reading in on a new book. A new book the me that is. It’s just getting good. :)



New Year Resolutions

I don’t do New Year Resolutions.  I always tell people I am amazing at helping reach other people’s goals, but my own, not so much.  I’ve always put them out there, have even taken planning skills classes.  Complete with daytime’s, goal setting pages, etc.  No such luck.  I don’t know why, it all just doesn’t seem to happen for me, or maybe it just all doesn’t seem that important.  More important than the big picture.  I am more of a live in the moment type of person.  I think about things I want to do constantly.  For instance… travel more, get my ass to Europe ASAP, lose 50 pounds, clean the house, be a better mother, start cooking more again, get out the door and take that walk, finish emptying these damn boxes, work a my Boys’ schools again, and so much more.  What it all really comes down to, for me, is to just get up and get going.  Some days, not.  Some days I just want to read all day.  Some days I just want to get in my car and drive.  Other days I would just love to get on a plane with my family and go, go, go.  Today I am going to blog.  :)


P.S. I miss my housekeeper.  Ha!


My #2 Son is 13. In 8th grade they have to do 8 hours of community service. It’s due by January 16th. He’s been dragging his feet.

I feel like he needs to learn how to do things independently. Without a reminder from me. Obviously, he hasn’t been following up with his original contact person to put his plan in motion. Now it is the holidays and hard to reach who he needs to, to get the ball rolling.

Last night while at dinner, I told him that his day needed to start with having a date and time set up for his community service assignment. Until he did that, he isn’t going to be doing anything else. No computers, no surfing, etc.

He just came upstairs and said that he’s spent the last two hours trying to get in touch with his original contact. He has had no response.

I explained to him about the problem of waiting to do something until the last minute. Also, how the holidays can put you at a stand still. There are lessons that need to be learned from your actions, or when action and follow through just sits there waiting, because you have done nothing.

I suggested he call the local public libraries. See if they could use his help. He called. One is closed today and the other doesn’t open until noon. Again, the waiting game.

I told him that he needs to think of something that interest him and call them. He said the “teaching tech to seniors” is something that he is interested. He just isn’t getting a response from his email, or call. Again, I explained that waiting until last minute and especially during the holidays is going to be a hard lesson for him to learn. These types of thing just aren’t as assessable if you haven’t already set them up. Most people aren’t around and some businesses are closed.

Anyway, he is still waiting to receive returned phone calls and emails. I hope this lesson will be a good one for his future. :)